I'm a whore -

I only keep this blog open for ad revenue - (which may be the only easy way to get money into my account) -

so I can write about how I bubbled again when KK died to AK preflop or AK dies to AJ -

yep - I'm a whore. The above sentiments aren't true 100% of the time - but I'd say in the majority lately -

not even a successful whore -

rb

I have had some weird ass dreams lately -

Justin Timberlake got me in trouble in Vegas when he shot thru a fire-alarm'd exit as a joke - fortunately, they didn't arrest me cause I was hanging with JT ;) I've been in Vegas a lot in my dreams lately - must be a message - hmm.....

had the stroke dream twice - nothing like looking in the mirror and seeing half your face paralyzed and not realizing it's a dream....brrr...

a lot of vegas and a lot of celebrities - one in particular stuck with me -

I got to meet Barack Obama - and I shook his hand as he was in the process of trying to flee - he then took off and I found myself in one of those walks where you're trying to move and you can't go anywhere and it takes an obscene amount of effort to put one foot in front of the other -

man, I need to start sleeping in a warmer room of the house - LOL

rb

Watched a PBS special tonight - (High Definition, babee) about the Marines.

They make a very interesting point - it's very easy to amputate the military from America - to say that's them, fighting for us, but really, it's US, fighting for us -

Every Marine was an American citizen who believed in fighting for and defending this country - it's sort of an implicit bargain - they defend us, and we don't put them in harm's way unnecessarily - our friends, neighbors, and fellow citizens are the ones getting shot at, not some inhuman video avatar that is irrelevant - every one of them is an American citizen -

Instead, we have squandered their sacrifice for oilmen and defense contracts - pissed away the war on terror in Afghanistan and Pakistan because the oil fields of Iraq were of strategic value to the neocons - when Cheney says the war is going great, he means it - for a rich multi-millionaire with contacts in the Defense and Oil industries, life couldn't be better -

(great FARK line - Dick Cheney's plane forced to land after the VP damaged it practicing his force-lightning trick again)

Habeus Corpus is suspended, and barriers to declaring domestic Martial Law are struck down, and in the midst of a global warming epidemic, Bush is drawing up plans for an Iranian strike which, if rumors are to be believed, will result in several generals choosing to resign should it be announced. I bring up global warming only in the sense that nuclear power will be a requirement for future civilizations, and if we think we can bomb every nation we don't like because they're developing it, we're just tightening the noose around everyone's neck.

a limited and struggling Democracy is probably one election away from taking out they psychopathic president seeking to consolidate his power thru Military conflict - if he gets the conflict, it will consolidate his power and he will have already laid the legal groundwork to set up a dynasty and suspend elections indefinately -

which psychopathic president am I refering to? - your call - take either one -

but hey, poker is alive and well - hook it up to my veins - ooh wait - look at Britney Spears - keep looking while the last vestiges of your democracy melt away like the ice caps and glaciers in Montana

I miss America - I do not recognize the Amerika we have created today - I worry about Barack Obama because like the Kennedy's, his idealism and hope put a giant target on his chest that a radical fundamentalist would easily take aim at -

which form of radical religious fundamentalist zealot? - doesn't have to be Muslim, I'll tell ya that...take your pick.

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all the talk about mistakingly supporting the war on Iraq is bittersweet to me - Hearing some candidates backpedal on their war vote is ok, I guess, cause they presumed they were dealing with men of honor when this administration presented it's falsely manufactured and bullshit case for invasion - but it's extra bittersweet for me.

I spent about 2 minutes trying to recall whether I was a supporter of the Iraq war or not when it launched, then I remembered -

Oh yah, I had no position, I was living in a friend's spare bedroom, drinking a fifth of whiskey and praying for death on an hourly basis - I was, for all intents and purposes, asleep at the wheel when they pushed this thru - attached to this earth only by gravity -

and probably pissing my pants in the truck and seeing if I could avoid the Highway Patrol on the backroads on my way home.

how utterly symbolic of the path the whole nation is now on....

rb

well, sounds like Minneapolis is going to get what much of the rest of the country has gotten - we've only had 12 inches of snow so far this year -

enough to freeze my gutters and create icedams, but the good news is I have found the offending pine needles and leaves in the first bend of the gutter - (guy I bought it from must not have known about those, eh?)

so maybe the water/snow will run off the house with any luck :)

ay carumba - 8-10 inches - my drive to-from work will suck - shoveling will suck worse

rb

I have twisted my neck - it hurts and made a longterm sleep tonight impossible - I am hopped up on two Excedrin, three ibuprofen, and a slather of Ben-Gay which minimizes the symptoms enough for me to function.

I did it playing air drums

I am a loser

RB

been a while since we had any lyrics - I spent most of Monday trying to learn this song -

Dublin Blues - by Guy Clark

I wish I was in Austin
In the Chili Parlour Bar
Drinkin' Mad Dog Margaritas
And not carin' where you are
But here I sit in Dublin
Just rollin' cigarettes
Holdin' back and chokin' back
The shakes with every breath

Forgive me all my anger
Forgive me all my faults
There's no need to forgive me
For thinkin' what I thought
I loved you from the git go
and I'll love you till I die
I loved you on the Spanish steps
The day you said goodbye

I am just a poor boy
Work's my middle name
If money was a reason
I would not be the same
I'll stand up and be counted
I'll face up to the truth
I'll walk away from trouble
But I can't walk away from you

so Forgive me all my anger
Forgive me all my faults
There's no need to forgive me
For thinkin' what I thought
I loved you from the git go
and I'll love you till I die
I loved you on the Spanish steps
The day you said goodbye

I have been to Fort Worth
I have been to Spain
I have been too proud
To come in out of the rain
I have seen the David
I've seen the Mona Lisa too
I have heard Doc Watson
Play Columbus Stockade Blues

Forgive me all my anger
Forgive me all my faults
There's no need to forgive me
For thinkin' what I thought
I loved you from the git go
and I'll love you till I die
I loved you on the Spanish steps
The day you said goodbye

I wish I was in Austin
In the Chili Parlour Bar
Drinkin' Mad Dog Margaritas
And not carin' where you are

grr - there is no easier fish pond left then the 11.70 shootouts on Pokerstars, but even there I bubble - not before finding a blog fan though - guess that's worth 11.70 - grrrr...

at least I got the short stack in with the worst hand once or twice - just couldn't win my 2-1 favorites and couldn't suck out in retrospect with a 3 outer -

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saw most of the Grammies last night - listened only for the Police - everyone's slightly aged - older, greyer, but the sound was as good as ever - kickass greatest 3 piece in existance -

and Stewart finally got a headset mic for his BGV's - after that lameass SM58 in 1983 - LOL - well done....

and they friggen opened with Roxanne - I love it - :)

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watched Shakira dance - that was good - will have to find it again online and turn the sound down - some annoying jackass was singing while she was dancing, man...

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Dixie Chicks got some validation, though one would think all the recent reports of premanfactured war evidence would have gotten them that.

just remember - there are at least 33% of the people in this country that will never admit they were wrong - bad bad juju there.

I did buy the Dixie Chicks album last year on Itunes though - so that makes me a pioneer again - LOL - It's nice to be ahead of the curve on a few things -

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saw James Blunt - liked him better the first time when he was Nick Drake.

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Smokey Robinson - love ya - love the voice - leave the plastic surgery and botox alone - as one friend (at who's house I was mooching the broadcast) ,there was a very strange irony to him singing "take a good look at my face" - only to see no expression there whatsoever - and what you did see looked a little surprised to be there to say the least.

but I love ya Smokey - I second that emotion - but it's ok to get old, brother.

---------

RB

ok - another SNG - since I've been out of commission for a while, let me raise hell -

I miss poker - almost as much as I miss whiskey :)

Not poker today - poker 5 years ago -

poker before rock stars - before poker tramps and cheats - before player branding/marketing and sponsorships -

before the WSOP became a goddamn circus -

(speaking of which - follow Amy C's link over there - she's doing some investigative work on where 2 Mil. in leftover WSOP chips came from in the 2006 WSOP.)

so I withdrew.

but not just from poker - when the house purchase went thru, and everything was painstakingly moved (by myself - cause I don't help others move anymore - always being hit up for the pickup) - I withdrew from this world and it's means and methods except for the internet link coming in and the occasional radio broadcast.

I withdrew from live cardrooms, from Vegas, from outdoors - from coffeeshops and bars, from Cable TV and the DVD marathon, and I mostly withdrew from playing in the band and gigs, and I just went into the tank - trying to figure out why I'm so fucked up. Still ain't figured it out - some days I can't bear to be in the house, and other days I can't bear to even leave it to buy a decent meal.

In the meantime, being online, I literally have a window to the world - but that's all it is - a window - granted a far reaching one - (anyone been to Iran's english news site? - kinda informative) -

I am so sick of ads, commercials, sales pitches - I get so much junk mail I have to take it to work to shred. Insurance for a family I will probably never get around to having - upgrades for a satellite dish

online poker can be reduced to the essentials - the internet can be reduced to a series of critical links for all up to date news and the rest can go to hell - (man, 3 days of Anna Nicole Smith coverage? - jeez - did Mother Teresa get that much?) -

New music can be downloaded instantly - if I want the Best of Big Country or Fred Eaglesmith, I have it without the friggen drive in -10 degrees thru 20 stoplights to the indie store where I can buy it for 15.99 or the new prefab teenage boy band. Ugh.....- (man, Big Country was a good band - those guitars sounding like bagpipes - LOL) -

what was supposed to be an establishment of a commerce free zone and a no BS zone has instead truly become Fortress Whiskeytown, with half the rooms empty or holding computer stuff moved in there last month, one room lived in, and one full of guitars and amps -

and yet I am not ready to face humanity again - I am no longer capable of listening to their individual gripes and concerns - I am a student of war, and it's effects, and I am feeling motivated when the Republican National Convention comes to town to stand outside there with a big ol' stick saying "repent" on a big placcard -

perhaps I am rambling now - but that's all I do - all I do is talk -

I think I am coming back out of the darkness, but what I drag into the light, the masses will not appreciate...

ah well, they didn't appreciate Jesus either. They didn't appreciate Townes either till he was almost dead - there's always a legacy though.

it's 4am and my online web plugin for weather says it's 12 degrees - think we're finally breaking the cold snap.

RB

thank goodness my sanity has not departed me yet -

two first place finishes in a $10 SNG - then the 3rd time I busted in 9th -

in all fairness, had I known he was gonna flop trip J's - I'd probably have held off pushing with KK - you gotta take that one as right play, wrong luck and move on -

but that's how you bust out with KK in 9th place - run into JJ and watch him flop trips - at least we got all our money in preflop - I always feel dumb if I push AFTER they flopped the set - at least before I have the right play right time - LOL

RB

sometimes I can think back to a point in a relationship - maybe it was just starting - maybe it was progressing -

I can just think on one point - and on that point there is somewhere in the conversation where I say something that's supposed to be funny and it's not - and then the whole mood dies - heh -

I had to fight tooth and nail to keep things straight with one girl I emailed all the time - or I can think of a point in a conversation where I generally just blow my toe off - or leave a grumpy voice mail - or an email -

I have dry and stupid and irreverant humor - but I can barely get British humor - sometimes I like it - I forget to leave the personality on 24/7 and sometimes I just have to remember to keep the voices in my head sometimes - no need for them all to spill out into the great internet and beyond - it'll be better to leave no evidence for the secret tribunals :)

----

I keep coming back to the $10 tourneys - trying to break a bad streak - ugh - I had a questionable bubble - $8.80 rebuy where 135 pays --- got AK with 137 left but I was 100th out of 137 - I mean, AK offsuit?

logic says wait 3 hands - that many getting paid will mean you'll get to the money in no time - if I could ever get past that money point again, then the game feels more natural to me again - up to that point I'm on pins and needles making bad judgements in bubble territory.

I just seem the need to gamble with big hands on the bubble to prove I'm not scared of busting out before the money - but I really miss winning, and it seemed once I got past that stress point my A game would open up again - but without chips, no one wins - but AK offsuit vs a raise/reraise with one stack shorter then you? -

QQ held his ground.

rb

ps - until further notice Barack Obama will have my 2008 Democratic endorsement :) - let's get the political season started early - I've got nothing going on this valentine's day :)

it is winter - dark night of the soul crap - it was on Valentine's Day two yrs ago - or thereabouts it was this cold when I scheduled the trip - the first one to Vegas.

listening to a bonus track off the new Patty Griffin CD - her voice always reminds me of better days - warmer days....

finding cracks in sheetrock walls is no fun - not remembering them beforehand really blows - wonder if it's the cold snap contracting and heating everything - I have wood peeling in spots off cabinets that I think is peeling due to dryness - LOL

and I can barely leave the house - took 10 days off - been sleeping and getting up when I want - without regard for alarm clocks or whatever - no biggie - there is a freedom in getting up and wondering what time it is -

it was nice to piss away 10 days -

poker continue to ruin me - good thing I don't have to worry about cashouts anyways right now.

I see where the pokerdb.com is going to be selling some additional info on each player as they get the chance - it is now with bluff's site and so forth - it shows me making a nice 11K -

I know what last year's results were - profitable but this mid year slump has never forgiven me - maybe I should go back to the earlier games - see if I just luck out or what - man -

or reread my earlier posts from that time frame - something there has not clicked lately for me...

but lately, poker has sorta felt like the last thing I want to talk about or do with others, ya know...

so no biggie - just waiting for winter to end....

RB

actually, my favorite part about HORSE is Razz - it may have the potential to be my favorite game - I can see why Grandpa made it a big part of his game

rereading felicialee's posts on razz - (google Felicialee and Razz) gives you some good strategy - I'm sure a book will soon be out again -

I'm so sick of turning on late night TV and seeing poker everywhere televised - LOL - sorry - I just am.

I wanna stay at home and dominate online -

I say this as I drop a $90 pot to a guy who started with A25 just like me - got it capped every street -

I picked up a 3, K, and 2 Q's to make it the most expensive Razz hand ever lost on my account -

screw razz :)

RB