I was playing two .50/$1.00 games - then after two hrs of static, I pushed it to 4 and I was even at $120 - $30 per table spread out amongst 4 tables.

and I wanna give up - this is bullshit grinding, and so many times I got my ass handed to me by dogshit players... - I have someone raise with 45 suited and I'm there with AQ - flop comes A23 - :( -

so I go looking for an album - a lonely 3am album, and I find Hayden - Everything I Long For - recently voted 23 in a poll of top 50 Canadian albums of all time - it's fairly sketchy here in the States, but esp. in the North, here in Mpls, for example, we can fill a bar with Hayden fans.

Hayden was part of the Indie Rock scene from Toronto in the mid 90's - (He hated being considered folk, and he does rock, just very LOW KEY rock - as in an octave down - LOL) - I caught him when Muchmusic actually played just Canadian artists and it was the height of the indie rock scene - he was signed to Outpost Records and when he came thru on tour, I was so fucking there - and even bootleg'd a show, a track of which has become Internet distribution legend - (a cover of Cohen's Famous Blue Raincoat) - that track is now available via filesharing and search engines thanks to ME - that fucking rocks, I'm sorry.

So anyways, it's lonely candle lit 3am album, sitting on the floor strumming about a girl you had a crush on but went to Paris to meet up with an old ex-boyfriend. And the whole album has the vibe of skipping work and staying in bed with someone - but you gotta fake a good sick call :)

and strange things happen to me - when I listen to an album I worshipped 9 years ago, I go back 9 years, - I remember being in my mid 20's and looking so confident people thought I was a label executive. I thought I was a rock and roll star. - but all this confidence was from the fact that I had found some of the coolest music in the world, and I didn't have to share it - isn't that weird....

weird how we fall in love with bands and share them with close friends and pick up that smug attitude when we realize how cool the stuff we like is and how uncool everyone else listening to the Spice Girls are - LOL.

man, I miss my 20's - lot of friends have moved on - lot of years -

been a lot of pain in my 30's - an awful lot of it - more then all of my 20's combined, and I've got 7 more of these bastards.

but hey, I ended almost 50 bucks up - which is pretty good for one hr at 4 seperate buck tables.

I think I'm gonna find all my Hayden CD's and rip them to mp3 - keep them handy - gives me something to do till breakfast - LOL.

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PS - I think I made a classic fucking blunder - I think my boss comes here and reads the blog - (he knew I went to Vegas for a blogger's tourney) - I suspected when I said I didn't wanna work hard anymore in the blog last week and the next day he thanked me for all my hard work - LOL.

Sol, if you're reading this (or any of my coworkers) - go away - I'm going NORML and I don't want you to know - LOL.

I hate it when my blog life and my real life cross - I think it cost me that redhead cause if she has half a brain she did some simple google searching and found this site and I don't think anyone I want to date should ever be allowed to see this site - - maybe for the 2 year anniversary I'll burn it all down and start over...

maybe I'll just delete it all and start over tomorrow - I dunno....

they're just words anyways, nothing so important that they deserve to cause anyone or me unhappiness.

so save your fav. posts now - I think I'm gonna burn the fucker down out of spite.

RB