Of all the things I've recorded on DVR, the 2nd best thing is this movie Chelsea Walls. (first fav. is the documentary on weed) - I have seen this movie before - and then after devouring it, I devoured it a second time with the director's commentary.

When I went to NYC to see TT and NJChick, the first thing...the only thing, even over the friggen Statue of Liberty, that I HAD to see was the Chelsea Hotel. I wanted to see this place where artists created and had done so for 50 years.

I have dreams that I wish to fulfill after my first 7.5 Mil dollar win. One is to go to Ireland for awhile and study celtic music. the Irish fiddle, flute, arrangements, stuff like that. And another one is to spend a few months at the Chelsea Hotel, trying to make some mark as an artist.

The characters all are fascinating in this movie - They're all artists of some time - But I think my fav. is Rosario Dawson's character. She's a writer, I think, because what she says and speaks is incredible - her lines - her feelings towards her boyfriend - when he shows up at the beginning, she's angry at everything and running for two minutes before he just says "I'm staying this time" - but he doesn't.

I want to be in a place like that - somewhere away from here -

When I say artist, I mean writer, of course. I haven't drawn a picture in 15 years and haven't doodled for 5 yrs. when I used to have more pages of doodles in my notebooks then school notes.

I think of Pauly - who I think was from NYC and now lives the perfect life as a writer - goes everywhere - can go back to NYC and spend 5 months playing poker online while drinking in Dylan Thomas' room...

I'll say this, I don't envy many people in the world - unless they're rich. That's the one thing that can make me feel bad - intelligence, appearance, well, maybe not wives, but the point is, I don't see much I wish I could steal from other people.

But I envy you, Pauly - :) And I envy everyone in Love even more, but worst of all, I think I envy the people who get to spend some of their lives in the Chelsea Hotel.

In my own stupid way, living so close to Uptown in Minneapolis is part of my way of getting near the artist's quarter - the home of Minneapolis rock - always drinking in bars where Tommy Stinson would hang out from time to time or the replacements - and throwing on that army jacket and fitting... - not fitting in, but fitting. But it ain't the same...

I am not wearing the army jacket at tomorrow's gig - I have bought a thrift store suit jacket and I'll throw that on and a wrinkled collared shirt - I have been getting the urge to look less like a punk and more like a grizzled veteran of the Grand Ol' Opry - LOL.

I need a change....I'm beginning to get bored - and I always get worse when I get bored....

I start seeing the whiskey bottles and the freedom of burdens and boredom and relentless lap after lap on the same track with the a car that slides too hard cause I took the turn too fast and that's when you get passed - and I want to think if I go slower on the corners I can run the track faster. Not sure if that makes much sense, but it's bullshit, whatever I want to talk myself into.

bored. Here's a snippet of a song I'm working on

"Princess wears her red top, purse across her chest
like a ribbon on a present I'm supposed to undress. "

I think she used to let her purse strap fall between her breasts so they'd look bigger against a tight shirt - I think she may have felt a B-cup wasn't quite as big as she wanted.

Robert Sean Leonard's character in this movie is a musician - he stands everywhere with that guitar - sleeps with it - I used to breathe and think music like that - trying to imagine melodies in my head - the next line - I obsessed over it like a man in love - I was in love with the dream of being a successful musician. As long as I play in a band - I look at my options for playing music and I revamp or re-evaulate what I am doing with what I enjoy and cross-reference it with what I am capable of being allowed to do for a living.

Put it another way, I'm playing a fast sort of punk/folk rock in my 20's. Eventually I realize that I will not become a solid writer or get paid to keep doing it with grey hair and at 32 - so my next favorite genre is Alt. Country. By the time I'm 90, I hope to be playing the Blues and still going strong.

Ok, I've wandered enough for awhile....I'll come back after the gig probably. Tomorrow night, 9:30 at Lee's Liquor Lounge in Minneapolis, if anyone's around.

Pax
RB