I'm about 30 hrs. from getting on a plane and going to Montana - I'll be up there for 10 days. Truth is, I doubt I'll get much poker in between now and then -

I can probably live with that -

I had a big thing about here about old girlfriends, and shit that has gone wrong lately, and shit that follows me like the plague....fuck it. - I deleted it - if I can't be sad, I'll just be bitter and angry instead. Going back to Montana, I'm gonna be doing a lot of that comfort stuff after a divorce someone I love is going thru, and while I don't mind doing it, I know it's going to amplify my loneliness just being around others who are the same way....I will be eager to get back, got to work, and spend 4 days on a good drunk binge in early May.

my good man Bill Mallonee has the title track off his new CD, Friendly Fire - when I heard it in WI, it brought tears to my eyes. It's apparently about a guy he met when working the psych ward at a hospital in Athens...The guy was a sweeper in Vietnam (translation...forced to fire on women and children who approached US airships that were landing) - and watching Full Metal Jacket sorta sent him over the edge. I got the disk today, and so I have lyrics, so this one is one of his new ones....
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Friendly Fire, by Bill Mallonee

coming in for a few days, friend
yea, more than likely I'll be alone
Yeah I asked if she'd like to go
You know how she loves Chicago but she just said "No
Whatever she wants, Whatever she might need
Yeah I've got no more fight in me

I must admit my own helplessness
things got pretty weird inside right after the war
I got kinda quiet for a long, long, long spell
they say "WAR IS HELL" but it ain't nothing, nothing like this
she just slams the door when I try to hold her
like I held on for three nights at sea
Hey I got no more fight in me

Mad Dog Bombardier, hell, I was mad dog all the time
drop that payload on a Roosevelt dime
but where we are there's no more north star
and it's all dark and uncharted in our skies
kid the flak was so thick you could get out and walk on it
That's what I did right back to that little bride to be
I've got no more fight in me

She says I've changed (funny thing)
hey don't people change all the time
it's been twenty years or more Stan
since I've had a good cry
whatever she wants, whatever she might need
hey I got no more fight in me
whatever she wants, whatever she might need
hey I got no more fight in me