well, a few more hrs and off to Disneyland with my nephews -

then I gotta rush to close on a house that has passed inspection - let's see if it passes appraisals - it did pass inspection - woo hoo -

rb

Thanksgiving - happy - that sort of thing -

had dinner with a couple friends tonight - always feel guilty crashing those sort of meals, but it was supposed to be a low stress chinese dinner and he went out of his way to make traditional turkey - good stuff.

Sometimes I wonder how madness starts - clearly you don't go doing things like the mad hatter - it must start slowly and simply - like you think God wants you to sell 25 million copies of the darkest and loneliest piece of music on the planet - you then create said music with that goal in mind - then you start talking to yourself about losing faith - LOL -

I'm in a dark period - but 3-4 weeks and a house will be purchased, work will feel more stable, and I'll be in the sun again -

on 2+2 I have laid myself down at the alter of Other Other Topics - OOT - and begged to be put head to head in OOT survivor vs an idiot - he'll probably win - which means I'll be banned from OOT -

sorta like being told you're too smart for Sesame Street and you've got to move up to the Electric Company - LOL -

no loss whatsoever - just time for change. Been thinking a lot about NYC again - if access to the clubs were more open - LOL - well, maybe I can go check out the town again anyways -

but first is Disneyland - next week - hoo boy.

rb

for some reason - the thought of Iggy's blog going away reminds me of this song -

esp. that second verse - =

Rex's Blues by Townes Van Zandt

Ride the blue wind high and free
She'll lead you down through misery
Leave you low come time to go
Alone and low as low can be

If I had a nickel I'd find a game
If I won a dollar I'd make it rain
If it rained an ocean I'd drink it dry
And lay me down dissatisfied

It's legs to walk and thoughts to fly
Eyes to laugh and lips to cry
A restless tongue to classify
All born to grow and grown to die

Tell my baby I said so long
Tell my mother I did no wrong
Tell my brother to watch his own
Tell my friends to mourn me none

Chained upon the face of time
Feeling full of foolish rhyme
There ain't no dark till something shines
I'm bound to leave this dark behind

Ride the blue wind high and free
She'll lead you down through misery
Leave you low come time to go
Alone and low as low can be

if I have one regret about quitting drinking (or one of several) -

not getting to hang out and drink with IGGY will be one of the top on the list -

possibly another great going away? - ay carumba -

creation is dying, I am crying - but I saved a bundle on my car insurance by winning at online poker - fruck.

rb

wow, I was so impressed with Democratic gains I decided to go to church - LOL - gotta start going back - some hot babes there - sure I love Jesus - now let's screw - (kidding)

this has been a weird week for me - going off God's green herb for a time - (I'm OUT) - lying in bed and going to sleep whenever I feel like it during a 5 day off stretch - working on preproduction for this album - (finally, again, it's getting started a 4th time after attempts 1-3 were determined to be el sucko) - and I'm just sorta getting over some shellshock at the hits poker and the poker blogger community have taken - Pauly just got his site hacked by an Absolute affilate - Felicia is gone - I can't even make the WPBT because the week before I'll be in friggen Los Angeles going broke playing uncle with my nephews -

they're more important then WPBT - I can't be an uncle to them much longer, so better make this run while I can -

I'm about 80% of the way towards what Felicia is thinking - for a number of reasons which I am more then willing to get into -

1. - I think this blog has suffered from my lack of drink - I was 100% honest then - now I'm about 70% honest - in fact, I can trace closing down a bit in part to the night when I quit drinking - which I'm not sure I fully documented in this blog for fear of legal entanglements ;) - but nevertheless, that was the first time I can remember not being totally forthright - and it totally 100 percent sucks dogass to have MissT come up and ask me to do jello shots only to remind her I'm no longer able to participate in God's Jello Brew.

2. - I ended up getting a boss who I was worried might be able to see what I was writing - my long bored work posts came to an end when the latest version of the HR security update for the year suggested posting to a blog on company time was a good way to get fired. Since the boss plays online I was worried she might read this - I'm not now but I'm wondering about a certain firewall resource who got my "your blog sucks" shirt - LOL - but self censorship came in - I'd love to talk more about the joys of certain herbal substances, but then again - why get fired? - I think I'll go find some legal substitutes today cause I'm getting antsy again.

3. - What else is there to say about poker? - more bad beats? - yes, AA got beat by AJ and then AJ got beat by 10/4 offsuit - so?

4. - all my life I've wanted to be a writer - usually it was a SONGWRITER but in the midst of a drought I turned to the blog for all emotional release - it was good - but at the same time, I swear this bitch has sank me a couple times - I'm almost certain a couple women I've asked out or dated have come to this thing, gotten something they didn't want, and stopped returning my calls - dammed google - my email is all over this, the poker boards, and god forbid, somewhere in a couple suicide discussion groups from 2000/2001 - but this blog could sink any political career - and with the advent of songwriting picking up again - I had some good feedback from bloggers on that, esp. my murder ballad Joe Lewis, and for that I'm grateful - but part of me is ready to bury all previous emails/blogs/accounts and start anew and anonymous again -

but in any case, we'll see - I was in the process of purchasing a house - still am and will make an offer on one but if it falls thru I'll be hitting extended stay america and renting a storage locker, and I don't think that'll necessarily be a bad thing - I think I need a change, that's all -

feel like changing a lot of stuff - home, haircut, job, social status, church attendance - let's see what goes and what stays

rb

thank you God - as Arianna Huffington put it on her blog earlier, it is the return of Adult Supervision to Congress -

whew. Senate still a little undetermined but two independants who will caucus with the Democrats (assuming Lieberman isn't lying) will give us a nice buffer -

whew
rb

I am in a feedback loop that threatens my sanity and my predisposition to look on the positive side of things - I

I am very close to depression and I can't do a damn thing about the powers that be that I see swirling around me on a regular basis, defrauding the poor, killing without regard for civilian life, etc, etc -

On top of all that I'm extremely lonely and seriously need to get laid :) As a result I resort to the following venting of mind and soul and pray for healing purification from the rite.

For the record, - I'm counting on Democrats taking the House and I'm counting on a close call in the Senate - anything otherwise and I'll be glad they're going to investigate every state - (every year I hope) for election irregularities -

and I expect massive shouting by the likes of James Dobson and Rush Limbaugh about family values and the decline of civilization - they'll take our research of voter fraud and turn it against us and say we rigged their elections -

or worse yet, we'll have obvious evidence of tampering in Republican won districts and then God have mercy on us. Cause the Republicans built the damn things, you know that, right?

I feel like the religious right almost want a war - they want us to react so they can justify pulling out guns and shooting us down - that's what I hear in the James Dobson broadcasts this week - as he rails against evil forces of godlessness that he implies in every which way but obvious is the Democratic Party -

They want the followers to feel persecuted - Fundamentalism allows for violence - even Christians - Fundamentalism allows for violence in it's works and means that other Christian sects and demoninations (evangelical, Catholic, Orthodox) no longer embrace. (forgot where I read that - probably in Mclearn's book "A Generous Orthodoxy but I'm not sure) -

Dominionism is worse - although they claim to love God, they have no problem standing in for him in his absence, and they will not cease to aspire to such standing in the future - I say that, but others agree with me.

when they come back it will not be with the love of a Christian in the light, but the accusations of Pharisees and the howls of hypocrisy

I do not believe they will walk away quietly, and I've been right about them before - but I'm also right that they're losing followers to the religious dialogue from the Left - I'm not much for any politics anymore, but anything that keeps faith from being a rubber stamp vote has my approval.
----

good luck Speaker Pelosi - you will be the most powerful woman to ever serve the US Government up to this point - #3 in the food chain for President of the US, I believe. In addition, you will be expected to be the oversight in an administration that has no shame in attempting to seize power at any time. You must be the exact opposite of the current guy - you know - the one who ignored pedophiles in his party.

I think you'll do all right - not too worried - women are outperforming the guys in everything these days anyways - LOL - in fact it just occured to me that given the incredible amount of clean up and catch up we'll have to do, I can't think of a guy I'd want to have the position -

hell no - I want a woman to kick GWB's ass - ;)

pax
rb

the sounds of the ice melting -

marine life potentially wiped out in 50 yrs -

a president and administration hell bent on going to war in Iran -

Felicia's poker blog ending :(

I feel like creation is dying and I can't do a damn thing to stop it.


well, I can do one thing - I can write about it.

and I can rejoice when I see others coming around - means we got a shot....

but then I get worried again -

I remember that fascism at it's core starts with hyperinflation, demonization of a group of people, and then the perfect merger of government and corporations working together to oppress millions.

we're not hyper yet, but let some of the stuff I first wrote about happen and tell me then where your fiat and inflation currency goes.

rb