so I play in a poker game on Tues nights - a home game for a company a friend works for - I had good weed at the time so I was invited in and played it for about 10 weeks -

it gets loud and drunk and obnoxious, and I'm ready to leave it for good but then tonight, I decide to go because I'm bored/lonely (and maybe out of smoke ;) - )and it's the most miserable 50 bucks I've ever won - one loud drunk obnoxious asshole ruined the whole process of winning. - there was not enough drugs in the world to sedate me into wanting to sit thru that fucking 4 hr process again.

If it was 5K, I could justify it - but not 50 bucks - time to walk from that poker game, I guess - ah well - not worth it just for the occasional toke of a borrowed stash or the 50 bucks that comes with a 1st place win -

the more withdrawn I get the less tolerant I get - not good. wanted to shove his dark sunglasses up his ass - got beer dumped on me - like fucking grade school again - I didn't blow up - didn't say a word - walked away but ya know - fuck that ape.

the joy is slipping away again - hate it when that happens cause I never know how I am when I come out of it.

this goes on to the whole "High Stakes Poker" I've been watching - had them tivo'd and watched them the last couple nights - I have been and always thought the idea of putting someone on tilt is fine if it's based on the game - but thru trash-talking and being a fucking wanker - man...I want people like that to have heart attacks right there at the table and be carried out so someone nice and sweet like that tall girl from the Bellagio can take their place - LOL - (she was from Denmark, actually - )

I'm tired of assholes - I feel I've earned the right to ignore them without any reprocussions anymore. I predict some serious melodrama at this year's WSOP and I haven't even read the coverage yet -

RB