why hello there...I'm whiskey - whiskeytown....permit me to commence on the overnight work rant...:) -

mmmmmnnn....whiskey - for some reason, I didn't drink on Tues...-I bought a glass for my friend's gig and I sat with it in front of me for 20 min, and then tossed it. 35 min. later, unrealistically sad and sober, I bailed early on their set and went to Perkins - don't know why, really...no reason I should be sad for tossing a 4 buck shot - maybe cause I wanted it so badly. Nah...it's cause the frontgirl is so hot, and she's in one of those on/off friends with benefits relationships when she really should be in something better with me...LOL - but the shot bugged me too...

I don't know if I've ever said this....but you know what I want more then never drinking again....to be like everyone else I know who has a beer or two, the occasional shot, the occasional hangover, but go on with their lives the other 360 days of the yr. like it's nothing at all - I envy those people like there's no tomorrow. People who just don't worry about it and can relax and use it's advantages -

Of course, there are probably people who envy the hell out of me...I can walk thru a casino and ignore the craps/roulette/slots and have $5 grand at my disposal and go to a 3/6 game - or try weed 6 times in my life and not care if I try it again - different addictions for different folks, I guess... - but then again, I have been dreaming a lot more about casinos for some dumbass reason.

I'm hoping Harrington's book helps me...I've been in a bit of a slump tourneywise again....been a few weeks/months since a final table finish - don't like that much...

I told a joke with Felicia one time - saying I should count how many times I do the following in this blog

a) - say I need to improve my poker game
b) - say I need to cut back/quit whiskey
c) - print out song lyrics for songs I like.

the count is 4 for poker, 5 for booze, and 13 for song lyrics....LOL - at least I have my priorities straight. and shitloads of griping about old girlfriends/boredom/and dishwater money placement in tourneys....

I'm not gonna feel like I have myself for a few days - after the Fri. overnight shift into Sat, I'm being sent to training next week for 5 days - M-F 9-5pm - so I get 36 hrs off and back in to the grind of the real world....ugh... -

and then, the bosses have told us 36 hrs. a week ain't enough, so we're gonna start doing a 4th day every 3rd week as announced - know what that means...lots of people doing their job even MORE half-assed then usual....swell....I considered moving closer to my job so I could walk to my apt....take the quick breaks at home, which would friggen rock to the nth friggen degree....maybe a townhouse near my friend Ryan's place.

but that's not today...that's another day....

went to the doc. on tuesday - he said those stabbing or throbbing chest pains aren't an issue - it's the crushing/sweating stuff that worries them. (did you know the heart has no pain/nerve endings, so when it's hurting, the brain sends out pain signals to other parts of the body to let you know it's taking damage?) -

actually, my chest has been seriously bugging me for the last two hrs...stress/work mostly I think - if I drop off the planet, don't panic...it wasn't a suicide....just a plain ol' broken heart

but not tonight, I don't think.

screw it....lets make it 14 song lyrics.... Poison Lovers, by Steve Earle

I was almost out of here
Nearly left this time
I saw you in my rearview mirror
And I pulled up on a dime
But nothin' ventured, nothin' lost
You can't say we didn't try
That is unless you weigh the cost
Of every tear we cried

Why do we do this to each other
I guess we were always poison lovers

If you could look me in the eye
And tell me what you see
Maybe you can tell me why
I let you torture me
I know that your lips are soft
And they sing the sweetest songs
But I've been listenin' long enough
My heart has turned to stone

Why do we do this to each other
I guess we were always poison lovers

Another time, another place
Another wind to blame
Cover every track and trace
I'll find you just the same
And even if we made our peace
And went our separate ways
You'd go west and I'd go east
And we'd meet here in this place

Why do we do this to each other
I guess we were always poison lovers

RB